Things I’ve learned from my Mom
- My father is not always right (or sane), but sometimes it’s important to let him think he is.
- How to get a full Thanksgiving meal on the table while every dish is still hot (and your guest aren’t gnawing at the furniture because it took 7 hours longer than it should have).
- To rollerskate.
- Selflessness. Mine could never rival hers, but I’ve seen what I should be striving for first hand.
- A little chocolate hidden in a drawer for a rainy day never hurt anyone (I’m pretty certain she learned that one from her mom).
- To not be afraid of heights.
- How to make Pecan Crunch.
- How to
eat all the reject pieces when she makesmake meringue mushrooms.
- Trust is earned and once it is, it’s precious. Try your damnedest not to f*ck it up.
- Swearing is not ladylike.
- Neither are unmannerly bites.
- To always be color coordinated, even when you’re broken.
- How to make a kick-ass toga (seriously, mom? You didn’t really think that through, did you?)
- To trust my instincts, they’re right at least 63% of the time.
- When you break a mercury thermometer, hours of fun can be had playing with the little silver mercury blob. You might even forget you were
- Traveling the world is important, but home is where the heart (and easily digestible food) is.
- How to hold onto a tiny bit of knowledge til it’s the right time to pull it out and bust someone. (Actual one-sided phone conversation circa 1994: “hello? yes, this is Erin’s mom. What? No, I thought Erin was staying at Jeanette’s house tonight. Ok, thanks.” Actual conversation in our kitchen 3 weeks later: “Mom, I’m going to spend the night at Jeanette’s house tonight. Mom: Like HELL you are. Be home by 8.”)
- Grace and beauty in the face of fear and pain. I’m not sure I can say I’ve really learned this so much as I can say I’ve witnessed it, and it gives me something to emulate.
Things I didn’t learn from my mom (because she was smart enough to let me figure them out on my own):
- Nail polish + finished wood furniture = bad.
- Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you, forever.
(disclaimer: this is in no way a reference to my father or my husband, just her ability to trust my instincts even when they seemed, to everyone but me, to be broken)
- How to make pie crust. She can’t either. It’s sad and unfortunate.
- (SPOILER ALERT) The Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy all have handwriting remarkably similar to my mom…and oddly, to our cat.
- Friendships and family relationships are constantly evolving. Let them.
- It’s ok to ask for what you need. No one can read your mind, even when you’re pouting. (but sometimes pitching just a little bit of a fit works too.)
- A mother’s love is unconditional. Unless you really piss her off. Then you should give her 24-48 hours to remember that a mother’s love is unconditional.
- Her genes come with great skin, big boobs, thin hair, and ability to kill any house plant just by staring at it long enough. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
I love you!