I’m sitting in the kitchen waiting for the neighborhood Superbowl party to start and figured it’s as good a time as any to write about the magic crack dip B brought to the table as part of the dowry provided to my family in order for him to be permitted to marry me. He’s making it. Clearly, since I’m typing (and chair-jamming-out to Bootie mashups. The current track is Van Halen vs. Cee Lo Green. Epic).
Most processed food loving Americans probably have some version of this dip in their wheelhouse. I had never had it until B’s family introduced me. It might be approximately 37.634% of the reason I married him. It’s stupid easy and people will literally eat it with a spoon once the chips run out. And they will.
You can really add anything you want to it, but the basic recipe is: 1 tube of Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage (version of your choice – we’ve made it with original, spicy, and turkey – it makes precisely no difference), 1 block of Velveeta, a jar (or plastic tub) of fresh salsa, milk to thin if desired. Cook sausage, drain (or don’t, depends on your last cholesterol test), melt Velveeta over medium heat (don’t let it burn to the bottom of the pan. It is part plastic after all, the odor could offend people), stir in sausage, salsa and milk if it’s too thick for your liking. Below is the recipe for the version we’ll be inhaling in 12 minutes.
The couple that planned this party is vegetarian, so to be polite B broke out the Soyrizo again for this batch. This is uncharted ground and we were a little nervous. The fears were groundless, Soyrizo to the rescue again!
Just incase you’re wondering, this is what it looks like right before you shove it in your face:
Velveeta Cheese Crack Dip – Veggie Style
- 1-2lb block of Velveeta (as far as I know, this can only be found in Costco-sized stores because it’s absurd)
- 16 oz store bought Pico de Gallo (feel free to make your own if you are good at planning ahead)
- 1-12oz package of Soyrizo
- about 20 diced jalapeño slices (they were the last in the jar in the fridge)
- about 1/4 C almond milk (it’s what we had – any will do) to thin it
Chips for dipping. Or a spoon.
Instructions are the same as above, you just don’t have to drain anything because soyrizo’s not greasy. Heat it up, add the cheese, let it melt, stir in the pico and any other additions. We’ve done green chiles in the past too. If you have one, serve it in a small crock pot – it turns into something you could spackle when it gets cold (yet people will still eat it, have no fear). No matter what serving vessel you choose, this will be the result:
And with that, I shall take leave of my laptop and meander across the street in time for kick off (and pretend I didn’t just eat a whole cup of that for the sake of the blog). The things I do for my art.
Oh, and on the off-chance there are leftovers, put them in a baked potato. You can thank me later.