Writers block

“I know a neat trick with a tampon…wanna see?”.  Yeah, that happened.  Verbatim.  On Thanksgiving.  I love my family (please feel free to invent your own context, it’ll be even  more entertaining that way)!

That’s only one of at least dozen statements from just about everyone in attendance that required me to make a concerted effort to keep whatever food or beverage I had just shoveled/poured into my pie hole from spewing violently from my nose.  Unfortunately,   I realized that for the sake of my familial bonds, sharing all of them (with or without context) is probably a horrendous idea.

So, now that I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t share some epically amusing “out of the mouths of babes” quote post, I am sitting around wallowing in an acrid puddle of failure have writers block.  At least entertaining writing block.  I keep thinking of amusing things to tell you, then promptly forgetting them – that whole the attention span of a fruit fly affliction is a bitch.  I can’t even tell you about amazing food I made for Thanksgiving because we gave thanks for the miracle a clean kitchen by eating out.

Instead, I’ll present you with a random collection of things I recorded for posterity this past weekend on my trip to San Fran/Palo Alto.  You have no idea how lucky you are.

Lunch at the Ferry Building Farmer’s Market.  Cheese that looked like brain, marinated things and fresh bread. Oh, and wine.  Because occasionally having a glass of wine at lunch makes me feel like a grown up.  

I like the banana seat on the green one.

Humphry Slocombe. We went for the “famed” prosciutto ice cream.  They didn’t have it. So we had Naughty Breakfast (Bourbon and Corn Flakes), Guinness Gingerbread, and Cinnamon Brittle.

I loved everything about Humphry Slocombe.  Except this.  This freaked the crap outta me.

Speaking of creepy things….I don’t want to wash my dishes with these adorable yet slightly demonic heads of unknown animal origin on a stick…do you?

These are seat covers.  I swear, stuffed animals are NOT driving this car.  This falls into the ridiculously awesome category in my book.  Anyone out there still looking for the perfect Christmas gift for me?  Look no further.

This helpful notice was on the OUTSIDE of the building.  And no, it’s not my office.

Proving that wooden sticks aren’t the only dangerous sticks.  These are the fancy resin chopsticks.  They clearly need to come with the warning “do not attempt to use chopsticks to cut dim sum in half”. Fail.

Pretty green tea pastry.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Mini. They’re cute and all, but like a Mini could pull a fat man in a sleigh.  My Jeep definitely needs antlers.

See?  I told you. Lucky.  The brilliance of this collection of photos is astounding, I know.

So, final parting thought…can anyone PLEASE explain to me why rodents in track suits with sideways flat brimmed hats were the obvious choice for marketing the Kia Soul?  Anyone? Anyone?  Because really, what the crap?!

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3 Responses to Writers block

  1. Barb says:

    Because that hamster playing the drums is frickin adorable. We’re talking about Kia, it was was effective, eh?
    Someone killed a two-headed calf? That’s wrong on so many levels.
    “Ridiculously awesome” needs to be incorporated into my vocabulary.
    I do indeed wash my dishes with something similar, though not on a stick. I got it at the Japanese dollar store (I guess it’s the dollar-fifty store, because that’s the cost of most items). If you haven’t been there, omg go check it out. Mercury and Balboa in Kearny Mesa. Then go down the street to Mitsuwa market and check out the books. The craft books there make me twitch for all the awesomeness. Perhaps they have some equally good baking books. It doesn’t even matter that they’re in Japanese and they’re over $30 a pop. Just thinking about them now is making me shake.

    • I’m not going to actually BUY a Kia though, I’m just going to be perplexed by the logic behind the commercials. Kind of like the dancing rat/dust-bunny thing with Quiznos, but way less disturbing (that thing actually made me LESS likely to eat there).

      And yeah, it was the “on a stick” part I found a little disturbing, really. I was in Cupertino’s version of the stores you’re talking about. So fun!

  2. nikib says:

    The best part of that commercial is the song. (I totally dig the hamsters and yes, they have NOTHING to do with a Kia. But you are blogging about it and that’s what they want, so it worked.
    That being said… ) I’m fairly certain that no one even remembered Black Sheep (except me, possibly) until that commercial came out. And now, The Choice Is Yours, is in my head. Thank you.

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