At least I brought dessert AND wine

So, here’s a funny story.  It’s funny because it demonstrates what a truly awkward human I can be if I put my mind to it.

We have these neighbors, let’s call them Steve and Lucy (yes, this time it really is an alias).  They’re the cool kids on the block.  My teenage alter-ego wants to play tether ball with them on the playground and get invited to their birthday parties, even though I’ll never have the right outfit.  So when Steve posted on his FB page that they were having an “unpacking party” on Monday night for all the SoCal folks who missed them (why they were unpacking is a long, not terribly amusing story and doesn’t matter even a little bit), I thought it would be nice to pretend we’re social people and at least swing by to say “welcome back bitches”!  So we meandered the 400 feet to their house, bottle of welcome back bitches wine and some dessert in hand with the ever-growing sense that we were walking into a trap.  Ok, maybe not a trap, that’s a bit dramatic, but it definitely didn’t feel like anyone was partying like it was 1999.  Or 2011.  Or at ALL.  Turns out, no one responded to the FB post and Steve forgot he wrote it.  Oh, and never mentioned to Lucy he wrote it in the first place.  So we were the ass hats at the front door with party favors and no party.  AWK-WARD. In fact, Steve wasn’t even there.  He was across the street watching football with another neighbor.  Lucy was throughly confused, yet graciously entertained us for about 3 minutes with friendly catch up banter before B’s uncomfortable meter went  blasting into the red and we made a hasty exit.

The worst part about this is that from now on, every time I say “let’s go HERE, B, they’re having a party!”, he will look at me and say, “are they?  are they reaaaally?”.  Oh the scorn I shall face.

The best part about this is that the non-party gave me an excuse to make these…

…and bring them to someone’s house where they will not be shared with guests.  Because there are no guests.  *facepalm*

These pumpkin s’more bars are my new favorite go-to recipe.  Originally posted on one of my new favorite blog, Tastes Better With Friends.  That’s a lot of new favorites, but I’m obsessed.  They’re absurdly good and stupidly easy, which makes them right up my alley.  And they make people fight over the last one (true story, it happened at my office circa 3:00 PM today).

You need some of these:

And some of these:

Yes, that’s generic condensed milk and brand name graham crackers.  I am a graham cracker snob.  I will purchase generic for just about anything (including mini-marshmallows…but not the full sized thing), but graham crackers? Negative ghost rider.  They are not. the. same.  Don’t cheap out on the graham crackers.  If you promise you won’t, I’ll stop lecturing.  Ok, now that we’ve covered that…

Line the bottom of the baking dish with graham crackers.

Make the pumpkin mixture:

To all you fabulous food blogger/photographers out there, you are either remarkably talented at holding a camera with one hand while attempting to pour something sticky where it goes (yeah, I said that), you have at least 4 arms, or you have help.   I’m voting for 4 arms.  It’s the most likely of the options.

Layer the graham crackers, pumpkin mixture, marshmallows and chocolate chips until it looks like this:

Bake for a whole 4 minutes, then torture yourself for the next 4 hours while waiting for the scrumptiousness to cool and solidify.  Or eat it warm with a spoon right out of the pan.  Ok, you’re dismissed.  Go make these.

Pumpkin S’mores
1/2 cup of butter
2 cups of pumpkin puree
300 ml of sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 cup of Graham cracker crumbs
45 graham crackers (approximately)
9 cups of mini-marshmallows
1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips

  1. Preheat over to 450F.
  2. In a small saucepan on medium heat, combine the butter, pumpkin mix, milk, cinnamon and bring to a boil.
  3. Remove saucepan from heat and stir in Graham cracker crumbs. Place aside.
  4. Line a 9×12 baking pan with waxed paper (This is the only thing I changed…I used waxed paper the first time I made them and it started to burn in the oven a bit.  Smelled awesome.  The next time I used parchment paper and it worked great.)
  5. Line 15 Graham crackers side by side ensuring that the entire pan is covered.
  6. Pour 1/3 of the pumpkin mix onto the Graham crackers and spread evenly using a small offset spatula or the back of a spoon.
  7. Top the pumpkin mix with approximately 3 cups of mini-marshmallows, ensuring it is as even as possible.
  8. Sprinkle evenly 1/3 cup of the chocolate chips over the mini-marshmallows.
  9. Repeat steps 5,6,7, 8 twice more. In all, there will be three layers of Graham crackers, pumpkin mix, mini-marshmallows and chocolate chips.
  10. Bake for 4 minutes at 450F.
  11. Let it cool and set for 3-4 hours to firm up otherwise it will not cut well into squares (but it will still be mighty fine on a spoon).

This entry was posted in Baking, Chocolate, cooking, dessert, fall, food, recipes, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to At least I brought dessert AND wine

  1. Kevin Six says:

    They do not deserve your love OR your delicious food!

  2. Beth Z. says:

    Did you really have to leave the treats behind?

  3. Pingback: Easy like Sunday morning | Legally Delish

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